Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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