Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
where are my eyebrows?
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