Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
