That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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