i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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