But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
