You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
They are going to name an STD after you.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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