There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
