its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
