If that was your dad, he is hot
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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