she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He did a backflip because drugs
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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