From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
