tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
