hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
