there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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