We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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