You really coming over, don't trick.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
