i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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