I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
wrigley field is MILF paradise
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
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