Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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