I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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