You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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