porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Randomize
