Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
