i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
And then he peed in my hair
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