dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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