im six kinds of drunk right now
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
