I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
