Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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