chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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