how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize