You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
