Don't you send me to vm
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
