You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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