But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
