I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
