i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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