Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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