like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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