only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Randomize
