Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
