i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
