i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
