I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just had sex on a roof
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
