so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
