Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
