just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
