My hand turned me down
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
