Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
