you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
