My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
