I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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