party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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