I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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