i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
pray to the hookup gods
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
