that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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