my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize