I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just had sex bonerless
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
